On Being Afraid & Cold Water Surfing

I’ve never liked to do things on my own.

As a child, having to leave my mom and dad terrified me so much, I’d refuse to go to Sunday School unless my mom was the teacher.

When my sister was born, she was the best gift my little being could have ever dreamed of.

She became my best friend and my constant companion. Having a partner in crime let me be brave in trying new things.┬áBeing homeschooled, I hardly ever had to go anywhere or do anything that didn’t involve my little sister.

When I started community college, my best friend Serena became my constant companion. I was the brave one, the one that signed us up for theatre auditions and drug us to parties and instigated college visit road trips, but only because she was by my side.

When I met my now fiance, Topher, he became my constant companion.

Besides random, anxiety filled, singular experiences, I never had to do life alone until I moved to Boulder and started university.

Continue reading “On Being Afraid & Cold Water Surfing”

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I’m Afraid Too.

Would you rather die having not lived at all, or take a risk and live life to the fullest?

I don’t think I’m a brave person.

I’m anxious, I over-analyze and spontaneity is usually reserved for late night Waffle House runs.

I constantly kick myself for living life in fear.

My boyfriend and I were recently talking about how we feel were not “that outdoorsy” or “that adventurous” compared to some of the crazies we see on Instagram.┬áBut when I really started to think about it, we are pretty outdoorsy and adventurous compared to a lot of people. I’m shocked when I run into somebody who’s lived in Colorado for a couple years and has never made it up to the mountains. I can’t believe it when someone says they’ve never camped or been to the top of a 14er or snowshoed or skiied.

But then, I have to back myself up.

Fear is nothing to be ashamed of.

Continue reading “I’m Afraid Too.”